Planning to wed & it’s hurdles

Planning a wedding is so exciting and such a happy event to look forward to, but like most things it comes with its own challenges.

There are so many things to decide and I can tell you that making decisions for the most is quite difficult for me because there are so many options or things that I like. Grant just wants a simple wedding, nothing to elaborate or long winded and I want the same but we all know that there is still so many styles to a simple wedding.

Firstly, we had to set a date and 2018 has some events happening like family going on trips away and friends also doing the same. There is even other weddings happening next year that family and friends are committed to, even us. So we had decided on a date in March and even booked our honeymoon cruise for the very next day! Next thing was to organise a venue and a celebrant. My Nan, Pop and Aunty live on the same property in a rural-ish area near where I live and were generous enough to offer the front yard (sizeable front yard) to us for the wedding. This helped us decide on a cocktail style wedding so we will have the ceremony approx 11am and then once that is finished people can just hang around until they want to call it a day. My folks asked their friend if her daughter would be able to perform the ceremony and lucky us she said yes! Yay! So far so good right?

Wrong…

Now, I briefly touched on the fact that I had a marriage breakdown over 6 years ago. It was difficult to get in contact with my ex along with trying to come up with the cost of divorce and so in turn the actual lodgement for divorce was delayed up until a year ago. I had received the application and started completing it to lodge a joint application to prevent any issues. Once I had finally gotten hold of my ex, I sent him the paperwork with a return envelope already paid for (this was November of 2016). After a few months of requesting the paperwork I finally received them in March (well they were sent to work) but by this point I was unable to get to work because I had found out I was pregnant and I was put on bed rest. So the lodgement was delayed a further 10 months due to finances, but then I finally lodged them – hallelujah!!

I recently received paperwork from the court! I was so excited because after a fortnight since they took my money to pay for the divorce application, I thought I was getting a letter to say “You will divorced on X date, one month and one calendar day from Y”…. I was wrong, instead it was a hearing date for the application. Now keep in mind that we requested not to attend because as a joint application we don’t have to, as there is no dispute with the divorce. The hearing date is 3 days before the date we booked for the wedding…. AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! I was experiencing all sorts of emotions, anger, confusion, livid, sad, you name it! I’m not gonna lie, I cried, I cried to my mum because I honestly did not think that it would be 4 months before my application even crosses a judges desk!

Poor Grant, when I told him he was so bummed and I honestly felt I had let him down. My silly mistakes in the past and I had not quite tied up all the loose ends, which Grant said he was ok with as long as I tie them up before the wedding! This was the last one, the one that would legally free me to marry my best friend and father of my daughter. After I settled down, I wanted to discuss a new date with Grant but he doesn’t want to until the divorce is completely finalized (which I totally understand) and somehow my selfish thinking is that I want to set a date for end of May/early June since March is a no go. The court will grant my divorce and I will officially be a divorced woman by end of April. But I suppose we will revisit next year because I think Grant wants to wait until September to get married. So bring on 2018 so we can start properly planning!

We didn’t bother changing the honeymoon cruise because we would lose too much money of what we have already paid if we did. So an early honeymoon or at least just a holiday to have a break from everything after such a turbulant year.

No wonder I am tired and looking forward to Christmas so much..

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