Nothing ever prepares you for parenthood (Yes mum, you can say I told you so). My mum told me so many things about the emotions I would feel during pregnancy and after the birth but no matter how much she told me I still was unprepared. I want to say words cannot explain the love I have for my daughter, however I will give it a go!
Finding out I was pregnant was more overwhelming than I ever thought it would be, for that entire first week I was completely distracted and all I could think about was that I had a baby growing inside of me. Couldn’t have been more excited about anything in my life. The first scan to confirm my pregnancy was the first time a wave of happiness and relief washed over me at the same time, blubbering and all!
As each milestone throughout my pregnancy occurred the love for my baby grew and I kept thinking “how can I love someone so much and I haven’t even met them yet?” Yep again, mum told me so. My 12 week scan, my little love was so chill and still from what I saw – heart melted. Baby bump started showing when I was approximately 16-18 weeks pregnant, fell in love with my bump (as small as it was initially). The first kick I felt, I knew then that I already had a bond with my baby and that just solidified that bond (Little did I know what would happen later).
When I was 26 weeks pregnant I getting pain high on my bump and had no idea what it was. I was sweaty and struggling to breathe, I called mum and she told me to call the hospital. They immediately told me to come in for monitoring. I was panicking and in pain, this made the trip to the hospital felt like a forever trip! What was only a half hour drive felt like hours! Basically by the end of being monitored I was advised it could have been just pains that come with the territory of being pregnant and could’ve been Braxton Hicks contractions. I was super relieved because I had grown so attached to my little girl already and couldn’t even possibly imagine losing her.
The day was finally here, induction day! I knew I would meet my little girl by the end of the day and was super impatient too! I just wanted her to be in my arms so I could give her hugs and kisses (again, not knowing the full extent of emotions I was about to endure). Arrived at the hospital just before 6am and almost 14 hours later, my daughter was born. The wave of relief washed over me and then she was placed on my stomach… her tiny cry – my silence… for what felt like a lifetime I was staring at my daughter waiting anxiously for her to be moved up onto my chest. I held her in my arms for apparently a couple of hours (it flew by so fast and then the nurse asked again, if I was ready for a shower). I can’t even begin to explain how pure my love is for this beautiful human. Almost 5 months later and I am still falling more in love with this little girl! The most purest and intense love I have ever experienced in my entire life!
Sometimes I wonder how I have lived before her because, I feel as though my whole perspective on life has changed so much, now that she is born and growing up in this world I brought her into. Willow has saved my life and I owe it to her to give her the best chance at opportunity I possibly can. I love you Willow, my beautiful and sassy girl! xoxo